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"I love finding out about celebrity deaths through the medium of sub-standard verse."

"It's a shame they never get to read them themselves."

"When's Jeremy Clarkson going to die?"

Gordon Banks

Gordon Banks
Made the greatest save
But now is finally
In the grave. (Ian)

Sister Wendy

Sister Wendy
Knew the scriptures
But also had an eye
For pictures. (Mike)

Pete Shelley

Pete Shelley
Felt like dirt and was hurt
But now he's died (and shouldn't've)
And that's worse. (Mike)

George Bush

Say adieu
To George Bush.
Join the queue,
Don't rush. (Mike)

Baroness Trumpington

She made a V-sign in the Lords,
But now it's time to dump in tomb
That Bletchley Park heroine,
Jean Alys Barker, Baroness Trumpington.

I thank you. (Mike)

Richard Baker

And now the news
On Richard Baker.
He's gone to see
The undertaker. (Mike)

Stan Lee

Stan Lee's characters
Had superpowers,
But now it's time
To send some flowers. (Mike)

Vichai Srivaddhanaprabha

Srivaddhanaprabha
Dead with a very long name.
Haiku is too soon? (Ian)

Charles Aznavour

He sang for charity
He sang with clarity
But Charles Aznavour
Is no more. (Mike)

Chas Hodges

Gertcha! When the latest one
To step into the grave
Gertcha! Is Chas Hodges
Out of Chas & Dave. (Mike)

Denis Norden

If you're one of those people
Who liked Denis Norden
You'll be sad to hear he's gone
But will not be forgotten. (Mike)

Burt Reynolds

Burt Reynolds
Made films that were fun
But now he's had his last
Cannonball Run (Mike)

---

Burt Reynolds has died.
The star of The Longest Yard
Now starts longest sleep.

Smokey and Bandit
Was a film I never liked.
On TV tonight.

Warm and funny Burt.
Whole career was tongue in cheek.
Says Ricky Gervais. (Ian)

Jacqueline Pearce

Servalan just wanted to rule the Federation.
For that I hope she doesn't face damnation. (Mike)

Kofi Annan

Kofi Annan
Won a Nobel Peace Prize
But now it is time
To say our goodbyes (Mike)

Aretha Franklin

Aretha Franklin
R.I.P.
And R.E.S.P.
E.C.T. (Mike)

---

She's breathed her last, has poor Aretha.
Alas the ground's no more beneath her. (Kate)

Barry Chuckle

Barry of the
Chuckle Brothers
Joins the list
Of all the others. (Mike)

Vinnie Paul

I find I'm tasked to write a poem
For Vinnie Paul of Pantera.
I'm too busy to do it right now,
Can you put it on my Jira? (Mike)

Leslie Grantham

Dirty Den
Has died again.
It's something he has as a knack.
He's done it before,
It's becoming a bore,
But this time he's not coming back. (Mike)

Peter Stringfellow

Peter Stringfellow
Liked his strippers.
Now he's dead
Like a kipper. (Mike)

---

That's terrible! I'm going to have to step up aren't I?

Peter Stringfellow
Turned yellow
And shat strawberries
And was mellow (Kate)

Verne Troyer

Verne Troyer
The mini me dwarf
Drank loads of booze
And it carried him orf*

*or something else did (Kate)

Avicii

Wake me up when it's all over
Is what Avicii said
But we can't
Because he's dead (Kate)

---

Avicii
Arrivederci. (Mike)

Dale Winton

Dale Winton
Was a Supermarket Sweeper
Now he's gone off with
The grim reaper. (Kate)

Barbara Bush

Barbara Bush
Had a lavish bush
Now she's gone
Her bush is mush (Kate)

Eric Bristow

Eric Bristow
Made gravy from bisto
But now he has died
The carvery's dried. (Kate)

Ray Wilkins

Ray Wilkins
Played with a ball
Now he plays
With nothing at all. (Kate)

Winnie Mandela

Winnie Mandela
Had Nelson as a fella
She fought apartheid
But has died. (Mike)

---

Cremation or burial
Whaddya think the selection is?
Traditional old school
Or matches and necklaces? (Noami)

Bill Maynard

Another death,
We'll have to blog it.
Oh no! This time it's
Selwyn Froggitt! (Mike)

Sudan

Sudan's death
Is sad and preposterous,
The last male northern
White Rhinoceros. (Mike)

---

What a bunch of tossers, us.
To end the white rhinoceros (Karl)

---

You know,
And I know
That we must conserve
The Rhino. (Mike)

---

Alas the white rhinoceros
Has gone the way of Toys R Us (Kate)

---

No man
Of woman born
Should slaughter those
That have the horn. (Mike)

---

A white rhino, not a right wino (Karl)

Toys R Us

You'll buy no more stuff
From Toys R Us
Because they've just
Gone bust. (Mike)

Jim Bowen

Jim Bowen
Will be going
To heaven
In a speedboat (Kate)

Liam O'Flynn

Liam O'Flynn
Played uilleann pipes.
Another one done in.
Cripes! (Mike)

Stephen Hawking

Professor Stephen Hawking
Wasn't good at walking
But he caused a great sensation
With his own kind of radiation. (Mike)

Hubert de Givenchy

Hubert de Givenchy
Made stuff that was raunchy
But now he's followed the fashion
Of celebrities to pass on. (Mike)

Ken Dodd

Did Dodd Die?
Diddy?
Dodd's dead. (Joel)

---

Ken Dodd
Is with God
The man of Diddy
Was a right old biddy (Kate)

Roger Bannister

Roger Bannister
Ran a mile in four minutes.
They'll prepare his coffin
And put him in it. (Mike)

Buttington Oak

After a thousand years
The Buttington Oak
Of Offa's Dyke
Did finally croak. (Mike)

Ingvar Kamprad

Ingvar Kamprad
Made Algots and Veberöds
And Muligs and Vittsjös
But now he's död. (Mike)

Mark E Smith

Mark E Smith
Sang in The Fall
Now he's not in any band
At all
(Because he's dead) (Kate)

Tinky Winky

Tinky Winky
Said Eh-oh.
Now it's time
for him to go. (Mike)

Billy Graham

Say farewell
To Billy Graham
Now he has begun
Decaying. (Mike)

Carillion

If you owe
One point five billion
You could end up
Like Carillion. (Mike)

Delores O'Riordan

Delores O'Riordan
Was a Cranberry.
Now it's time
Her to bury. (Mike)

---

She was a fine
Irish singer,
But she didn't
Choose to linger. (Kate)

---

Delores
No more is. (Mike)

---

She may not be gone, she
Might return as a zombie. (Kate)

---

Mike, do you have to?
Do you have to?
She's a zombie, zombie
Zom be- a be- be a (Joel)

Fast Eddie

I saw Fast Eddie
On the Iron Fist tour
But now I won't
Any more. (Mike)

---

I also saw him
When he was in Fastway.
But I won't anymore
'Cos he's passed away. (Mike)

---

Fast Eddie
He's Deady. (Kate)

Sue Grafton

Sue Grafton
Will never do Z
That's because
She's dead. (Mike)

Misha The Aardvark

RIP Misha the aardvark
Who died in a fire in a big park
Actually it was a zoo
But zoo doesn't rhyme so park will do (Kate)

Heinz Wolff

I once saw Heinz Wolff
Do a lecture on space,
But now he has run
His last Great Egg Race. (Mike)

Keith Chegwin

Ch ch-ch chh chh
Cheggers played pop.
But today
It's time for him to drop. (Mike)

Max Clifford

Max Clifford
Liked publicity
But then he didn't
And has died in iniquity. (Mike)

---

Max Clifford
Was rapey and gropey
And now he's deceased
After feeling quite ropey (Kate)

Rodney Bewes

Drink some booze
To Rodney Bewes
Our loss is sad
For this Likely Lad. (Mike)

Charles Manson

Charles Manson
Family cult head
Ceased to exist
'Cos now he's dead. (Mike)

Malcolm Young

Malcolm Young
Played rhythm guitar
But he'll not strum
Another bar. (Mike)

---

The guitarist out of
AC/DC
Isnt live-y
Hes more deceased-y (Kate)

Tom Petty

Tom Petty
Was fond of spaghetti
But he's curled up his feet y'all
So he's had his last meatball

(Apologies) (Kate)

---

Oh no!
Bad news to which I'm awoken.
I truly am
Heartbroken. (Mike)

Tony Booth

Tony Booth
Scouse Git
Now goes
In the pit. (Mike)

Liz Dawn

If you don't give a fuckoth
About Vera Duckworth
You'll be uninterested to learn
That she's now in an urn (Kate)

Walter Becker

Walter Becker
Reeled in the years
But now he is
No longer here. (Mike)

Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor

Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor
Is a goner. (Mike)

Jerry Lewis

Great balls of fire!
Jerry Lewis is dead
Oh no wait, it's not him
It's some other bloke instead. (Kate)

Bruce Forsyth

Bruce Forsyth
Oh this is ridiculous
Nothing rhymes with that
He's dead. (Kate)

Glen Campbell

He rode out on a horse
In a star-spangled rodeo,
But now it is time
For Glen Campbell to go. (Mike)

---

His last album was called Adios
It's almost like he knew!
No more rhinestone cowboy
Or meatballs for your stew (Joel)

---

Campbell is a make of soup
And also was Glen's name
But though he's died of Alzheimer's
The soup remains the same. (Kate)

---

The Wichita Lineman,
no longer on the line (Karl)

Barry Norman

Barry Norman
Was not a Mormon
He reviewed films instead
But no more, cos he's dead. (Kate)

Brian Cant

Brian Cant
Could
Now he can't. (Kate)

---

Brian Wood
Brian May
But Brian Cant. (Joel)

Adam West

Adam West
Is at rest
He failed to stay alive
But he probably did his best. (Kate)

---

Der-der der-der der-der der-der
Der-der der-der der-der der-der
Dead man. (Mike)

Peter Sallis

He went with his dog for some cheese on the moon
He wore the wrong trousers but caught the crook soon
And then with a sheep he had a close shave
But now Peter Sallis will rest in his grave. (Mike)

Roy Barraclough

Roy Barraclough
Who played Alec Gilroy
Is dead
What a kill joy. (Kate)

John Noakes

John Noakes
Is dead, folks.
And Shep?
Yep. (Kate)

Gregg Allman

Gregg Allman
Was all man
But the guy who played the theme to Top Gear
Is no longer here. (Mike)

Roger Moore

Moore
Is no more.
The Saint
Now ain't. (Mike)

Chris Cornell

Chris Cornell
Led Audioslave.
Time to put him
In the grave. (Mike)

---

He also was in
Sound Garden
But now his corpse will
Soon harden (Kate)

---

Chris Cornell,
He felt outshined
And now he's left,
This world behind. (Karl)

Martin McGuinness

Martin McGuinness
Led Sinn Fein
Now he won't
Again. (Mike)

David Rockefeller

David Rockefeller
Made a lot of wonga
But now he isn't with us
Any longer. (Mike)

Chuck Berry

He wanted you to play
With his ding-a-ling
But now Chuck Berry
Has become nothing. (Mike)

Azure Window

Azure Window
It did falter.
Now it's gone,
A loss for Malta. (Mike)

Peter Mansfield

Sir Peter Mansfield
Won a Nobel prize,
But in the end
Everyone dies. (Mike)

Hans Rosling

Hans Rosling's death
Drove me ballistic.
Now he's just
Another statistic. (Mike)

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
Was a Socialite by career.
I don't know what that is,
Maybe a bit like Jeremy Corbyn but without the beard. (Mike)

Desmond Carrington

Desmond Carrington
Made the music go round.
Time to put him
In the ground. (Mike)

Geoff Nicholls

Say farewell
To Geoff Nicholls
Who must be preserved
In pickles. (Mike)

Gordon Kaye

Gordon Kaye,
oh sacre bleu!
Pas 'Allo 'Allo,
c'est adieu adieu.. (Karl)

Peter Sarstedt

Say farewell
To Peter Sarstedt
Who died, not last year,
But this year instead. (Mike)

2016

The year of death has stricken dread
In every famous man and woman.
Now, Twenty Sixteen itself is dead.
Wonder who saw that one coming. (Mike)

People Who Died

Lemmy growled loud and hammered that bass
But all he ever needed was the Ace of Spades.
Bowie wondered if there was life on Mars
Finished off leaving us one black star.
Ali floated like a butterfly - stung like a bee
Wogan bantered on about children in need.

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all big stars, and they died.

Harper Lee taught us how to kill a mocking bird
While Carla Lane was more into Liver birds.
Manuel knew nothing, and a beating he got.
Paul Daniels was liked but not a lot
Rick Parfitt played for us rock and blues
Shimon Peres was in charge of jews.

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all big stars, and they died.

Henry Heimlich saved people from choking
Caroline Aherne - brilliant at joking
John Glenn was a pioneer of space
Nancy Reagan tried to keep her husband in place.
I never cared for George Michael - not one bit.
All his songs were a pile of shit.

Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
Those are people who died, died
They were all big stars, and they died. (Mike)

Carrie Fisher

Princess Leia
Isn't here
Oh dear
Shed a tear. (Mike)

---

Carrie Fisher!
We'll surely miss her. (Simone)

---

Princess Leia
Listens to Slayer
In heaven on
A CD player (Kate)

George Michael

Last Christmas
George Michael was alive
But Twenty Sixteen
He could not survive. (Mike)

Rick Parfitt

Rick Parfitt
Has gone to the Lord
Never having learned
That fourth chord. (Mike)

Ian McCaskill

Ian McCaskill
Predicted the rain.
Now he never will
Again. (Mike)

---

McCaskill is dead
The rascal (Kate)

John Glenn

John Glenn
Was a pioneer of space.
But now he's gone to
Another place. (Mike)

Greg Lake

Keith Emerson went in March this year
Now Greg Lake is gone, I fear.
I don't want to be a big alarmer
But it don't look good for poor Carl Palmer. (Mike)

Andrew Sachs

He beats him here
He beats him there.
That Basil beats him everywhere.
Is he in heaven?
Is he in hell?
That damn fine waiter -
Manuel. (Mike)

Fidel Castro

Fidel Castro
Ruled Cuba in his own manner.
Now he has smoked
His last Havana. (Mike)

---

Fidel Castro
Went to Tesco
Now he won't-oh
Because he's deado (Kate)

---

Fidel Castro and his cigars,
Those groovy 1950s cars,
A hero to some, but not to most,
We say fairwell, as now he's toast. (Karl)

---

Good on Fidel Castro
America's principle foe
Will not get to see tomorra
As he's gone the way of Guevara (Julie)

Leonard Cohen

Twenty sixteen
The stars are all going.
Today it has been
Leonard Cohen. (Mike)

King Bhumibol Adulyadej

The King and I
Have said goodbye
But no one in Siam
Is as indifferent as I am. (Mike)

Shimon Peres

Shimon
Is gone,
Yes he is really,
This dead Israeli. (Mike)

Caroline Aherne

Caroline Aherne
Was a good turn,
But now Mrs Merton's
Gone for a Burton. (Mike)

Anton Yelchin

Anton Yelchin
From Star Trek
Joins the 27 Club,
What the heck? (Mike)

---

How come?
He's dead?
He wore yellow
Not red! (Joel)

---

Anton what?
Who was he?
Oh. Star Trek.
I see. (Kate)

---

Personally, I'm mystified by the continued absence of inertial dampener jokes. (Shim)

---

That's shit, it doesn't even rhyme. (Kate)

---

I'm personally mystified
by how this could happen-a:
Still no jokes
about the inertial dampener. (Shim)

---

Much better. (Kate)

Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali
He was the greatest
But now he's become
One of the latest. (Mike)

---

Muhammad Ali
Used to box
Now he is
In a box (Kate)

Prince

He thought the rain was purple,
Took his medication per pill,
But never was the smartest,
This artist formerly an artist.

(That's one in the eye for those who think there isn't a rhyme for purple.) (Mike)

Gareth Thomas

It's bleak
For Blake.
This bloke
Has broke. (Mike)

---

Blake of old Blake's Seven
Is now in spacey heaven.
But Servalan was hotter,
Like some sexy slinky otter.

Er. (Karl)

---

Blake's Seven
Was shit
Just say no
I thought they were all dead
Ages ago (Kate)

England's Only Golden Eagle

England's only golden eagle
Noble, rare, and truly regal
Has perished - most disagreeable.
Now all we've got's a bunch of seagulls. (Mike)

Phil Sayer

Phil Sayer
Is in the grave,
But how many lives
Did his wise words save? (Mike)

---

Not that many
Silly chap
Most people know
To mind the gap (Kate)

---

Well, they do now,
But that's 'cos of him.
If he hadn't said it
Things could be grim. (Mike)

---

Don't be daft
We all have brains
We don't need Phil Sayer
To save us from trains. (Kate)

---

This is London
Where they're thick as shit
Some fall on the tracks
Where they're hit. (Mike)

---

In the north
Trains don't hit us
I guess it's survival
Of the fittest (Kate)

---

He tells me I
should mind the gap
But in fact it's all
a pile of crap (Ian)

---

Don't you start too.
Do not disparage
The man that cared
When we left the carriage. (Mike)

---

Many a slip
Twixt cup and lip
More again
Twixt foot and train (Ian)

---

Well done, that man
On your pronouncement.
Let's hear it for public
service announcements. (Mike)

---

Listen to crashing bores
Who scarcely anyone adores
They cry out for their daily chores
"Stand clear of the closing doors!" (Ian)

---

Gaps these days are rather small
So as long as you are fat and tall
You probably won't fall through
But if you're small and thin you might do (Kate)

Longest Ever Python

These deaths have got crazier
'Cos out in Malaysia
They're all going to miss
This star who went 'hiss'. (Mike)

Ronnie Corbett

He wasn't pretty
He hasn't bonny
But now there are
Zero Ronnies. (Mike)

Paul Daniels

Paul Daniels
Has gone to his plot.
We all will miss him,
But not a lot. (Mike)

---

Daniels died by bad brain you see.
What will become of Debbie McGee? (Simone)

---

Paul Daniels
Had a spaniel
But he fell off his log
Poor lonely dog

God that's terrible. (Kate)

Sylvia Anderson

Lady Penelope
Drove in a pink Rolls.
She now goes in another
One of those holes. (Mike)

Frank Kelly

Drink!
Girls!
Arse!
Feck!

Some dead celebs simply have the good grace to write their own poems. (Mike)

Alan Rickman

He played Doctor Lazarus
On Protector in Galaxy Quest.
But Alan Rickman won't come back,
Now he's laid to rest. (Mike)

David Bowie

In his time he did earn
A great deal of Fame
But I never did learn
How to pronounce his name. (Mike)

---

In the 70s, Bowie
Smoked fags and drank Moët
Drinking & smoking are never the answer
Because they give you cancer (Kate)

---

Oh, what nonsense
Drinking, smoking and taking chemy
Harmed nobody,
Just ask L..., oh. (Mike)

Lemmy

Lemmy has taken
His last breath.
Finally has been
Killed By Death. (Mike)

Jimmy Hill

Jimmy Hill
Gave us a thrill.
He can no longer win,
But he took it on the chin. (Mike)

Warren Mitchell

Warren Mitchell
Appeared coldhearted
But now death
Him has departed. (Mike)

Cilla Black

Cilla Black
Heart attack?
Whatever,
Just don't come back (Kate)

Omar Sharif

Omar Sharif's
Life wasn't brief.
He'll play no more bridge
As he's gone in the fridge. (Mike)

---

Omar Sharif
Liked curtains of beef
Laurence of Arabia
Must've choked on a labia (Kate)

Val Doonican

Val Doonican
Once had a loony fan
Then he died
So she cried. (Kate)

---

Val Doonican
Now goes to his hearse.
We wondered how soon he can
Get this verse. (Mike)

Ron Moody

Ron Moody
Was a bit of a foodie
He died eating brie
With Christopher Lee. (Kate)

Christopher Lee

Lee,
He
Out
For the Count (Mike)

James Last

Last
Passed
Away
Today. (Mike)

B B King

BB King
Liked to sing
But now he can't speak he's
Died of diabetes. (Mike)

Errol Brown

Errol Brown
Was truly lyrical.
He's left us now,
So much for miracles. (Mike)

---

Errol Brown,
Soon in the ground,
No more hell sing,
Hell be a decomposing, rather unsexy thing. (Karl)

---

Alas Hot Chocolate
now is dead
I'll have to have
Horlicks instead. (Kate)

Ben E King

Ben E King
Did sing
"Stand By Me"
R.I.P. (Mike)

Keith Harris

We'll all miss
Keith Harris
Now he can fly
Right up to the sky. (Mike)

Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett
Liked to eat cat shit
So now he'll be buried
Like some kind of hatchet (Kate)

Demis Roussos

Demis Roussos
Said meet me at New Cross
But then he went and died
So I got off at Rotherhithe. (Kate)

---

Mourn the loss
Of Demis Roussos
He's gone forever
And ever. (Mike)

Trevor Ward-Davies

First Dave Dee and now it's Dozy
Looks like things are far from Rosy
They're going in order - now that's freaky
You've really got to feel for Beaky. (Mike)

Labidura Herculeana

Labidura herculeana
Truly was a charmer
But when it said 'Here we go'
Did that earwig go. (Mike)

Lynsey de Paul

Lynsey de Paul
Was rather small
But has hit Rock Bottom
And soon will be rotten. (Mike)

George Hamilton IV

George Hamilton IV
Has followed George Hamilton III
Who followed George Hamilton II
Who followed George Hamilton (Mike)

Rik Mayall

Rik Mayall
Did never fail
To make us guffaw,
But not any more. (Mike)

Mickey Rooney

Mickey Rooney
Pulled a fine moony
But now he's deceased
The appeal has decreased. (Kate)

Shirley Temple

Shirley Temple
Choked on a lentil
She didn't really
But nothing rhymes with temple (Kate)

J J Cale

Let us wail
For J.J. Cale
They're going to put him in the ground
But don't get him confused with John Cale out of the Velvet Underground. (Mike)

Bernie Nolan

Bernie Nolan
Has joined Marc Bolan. (Mike)

Jeff Hanneman

Jeff Hanneman
Was a great player
He's had to say a
Goodbye to Slayer. (Mike)

Reg Presley

Reg Presley wasn't The King
But he sure was a Wild Thing,
And though Love Is All Around,
He's now gone in the ground. (Mike)

Michael Winner

To Michael Winner
Say adieu
For his Death Wish
Has come true (Mike)

---

Michael Winner
Made me some dinner
But he died of a bad liver
So now we're not having liver (Kate)

Kenneth Kendall

Kenneth Kendall
Read the news
Now he's in it.
Way to lose. (Mike)

---

Kenneth Kendal
Was not from Pendal
He read news and shit
But he wasn't a witch. (Kate)

Ravi Shankar

Ravi Shankar
I'd like to thank ya
For all the treats
On Drummond Street. (Mike)

Patrick Moore

Never were his programmes shite,
But now he's in the Great Sky At Night. (Mike)

---

He hated girls and blacks and gays.
But he wasn't a paedo.
Happy days. (Kate)

---

Who cares if you're a xenophobe
When you can play the xylophone? (Mike)

Max Bygraves

RIP Max Bygraves
No longer just by graves. (Kate)

Tony Scott

Many big films shown through a projector
Had Tony Scott as their director
He leapt off a bridge. I'll tell you what -
It's not looking good for Selina Scott. (Mike)

Scott McKenzie

Monterey Pop was quite a frenzy
Thanks to those like Scott McKenzie
He brought joy to fans a-plenty.
I hear the funeral's on Wednesday. (Mike)

Bernard Lovell

He studied cosmic rays
In the younger of his days
But now it's time to shovel
Soil over Bernard Lovell. (Mike)

Robin Gibb

Another one of the BeeGees
Has got the heebiejeebies. (Mike)

Donna Summer

Donna Summer
Oh dear what a bummer
The disco dancer
Dead.
From cancer. (Kate)

---

Donna
Is a goner. (Mike)

Bert Weedon

The man who wrote 'Play In A Day'
For Eric Clapton and Brian May
And other greats stars
Of the electric guitar
Has sadly now vanished away. (Mike)

Jim Marshall

Jim Marshall
Was rather partial
To loud sounds
But he's not around. (Mike)

Davy Jones

Davy Jones
Wasn't a junky
But now he also
Isn't a Monkee. (Mike)

---

Davy Jones was fairly short,
and he's gone to meet his receiver,
on the last train to Clarksville,
goes the Day Dream Believer. (Joel)

Frank Carson

Frank Carson
Said 'It's a cracker!'
But not any more
Now he's knackered. (Mike)

Whitney Houston

She had a problem. (Mike)