Get Your Vegetables In For 2002 Elections

Right, it's that time of year again, time to select the Pooclub Vegetable Of The Year for 2002. Last year's Vegetable Of The Year, the Potato, has served us well being rich in vitamin A and high in carbohydrate as well as making a tasty accompaniment to fish. The Potato has enjoyed a particularly fruitful (well, vegetableful) year travelling, meeting people and getting mashed, chipped, roasted, sauteed, boiled and fried.

But now it's time to elect the vegetable that is going to represent Pooclub for the next 12 months. We will use the same rules as last year: Each member gets to nominate THREE vegetables which they can campaign for over the course of the elections. A poll will be set up comprising all the vegetables nominated.

If there is a candidate which gets over 50% of the votes, that will be the Vegetable Of The Year 2002, otherwise voting will go through to a second round. The second round will consist of the least number of highest scoring candidates which collectively commanded over 50% of the votes.

Again, if one candidate gains over 50% of the votes in the second round, it will be the winner, otherwise voting will go through to further rounds by the same means as above until we have one clear winner.

Now, those of you who remember last year's election will recall that we had quite a palaver with people nominating things that clearly (or unclearly) were not vegetables. I would advise members to re-read the poomails of this turbulent period in order to avoid any repetition of these problems. You can go straight to the relevant postings via this link:

groups.yahoo.com/group/pooclub/messages/3076

OK, let's get those nominations in. Which vegetable(s) do you think could most suitably represent Poo Club in the year 2002? Remember, you can nominate up to THREE vegetables. Please also bear in mind that you are not being asked to choose your own personal favourite vegetables; your task is to select those which you think would best represent pooclub in 2002.

What Went Wrong In 2001 Veggie Poll

The 2001 Vegetable Of The Year elections were undoubtedly the most problematic of pooclub's long history of vegetable polling. All went well at first with people submitting perfectly suitable candidates until Brian offered onion bhaji, saag aloo and mushroom bhaji.

Officials quickly recognised these as Hors d'Oeuvres of Indian Cuisine and whilst they contained vegetables they were not vegetables in their own right. Consequently, Brian was persuaded to select the vegetables from which these dishes were made, namely onion, spinach and mushroom. An appeal from Karl that there were actually four vegetables involved here, since saag aloo is spinach and potato, was rejected due to the fortuitous nomination of the potato by Jim.

The first round was just about to begin when an objection was raised by Sarah. As a biologist, she pointed out that technically the mushroom was not a vegetable as it does not belong to the plant kingdom, but is a fungus. This raised an intense furore and a heated debate was battled out largely between Brian and Mike as to whether the mushroom was a vegetable. The matter was settled by a pre-election poll in which the mushroom was declared not a vegetable.

And so campaigning began. Complaints were raised by Kate on Mike's electioneering tactics when she discovered that he had been visiting other Yahoo Groups and persuading people to come and join pooclub and vote for his chosen vegetable. Mike dismissed these allegations as a smear campaign, maintaining that he was engaged in perfectly legitimate canvassing, and that recruiting more members was only for the good of pooclub anyway.

Organisers of this year's election are hoping for no repetition of the problems that beset last year's campaign. Pooclub's patron Carol Vorderman has asked that members only nominate real vegetables and keep campaigning clean. "There's absolutely no need at all for the mud slinging and underhanded activities of 2001," she explained in a press conference this morning, "and anyone who transgresses the elections regulations will be put across my knee." Weather

Today it will be warm.

Have you read the latest Editorial by Mike Naked Women Showering On TV Posted: Friday 21 December Feeling nostalgic? Browse the Editorial Back Catalogue

"Points Of View" Convention, BBC Studios (from 2:30pm) Featuring Barry Took impersonation pagent and Anne Robinson wink-alike competition. Weather: Today it will be Warm.

Today is a good day to quibble over something petty and a bad day to creosote the garden fence.

Shitespace proudly presents the Poem Of The Day: Spam Poo.

Poodate: 9206

It is a "Mediocre" day for pooclub.