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The Daily Drivel

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Sat 30 Mar 2024 Poem Of The Day  
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Drivel
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Daily Drivel - Poodate: 8646


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Friday 29 March 2024
--------------------

Who will be in next month’s Cull?  Let's take a look.
http://pooclub.shite.org/candidates


Today's Pope
------------
Holly

Lent day number: 39 - see http://pooclub.shite.org/pope

The Meaning Of Liff
-------------------
KIRBY MISPERTON (n.)
One who kindly attempts to wipe an apparent kirby (q.v.) off another's face with a napkin, and then discovers it to be a wart or other permanent fixture, is said to have committed a 'kirby misperton'.


Poem Of The Day
---------------

The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
(Mike)

I am a Wheat Crunchie 
Made by Golden Wonder. 
Life for me is OK right now, 
Since I was torn asunder. 

I lie here in a sealed up bag 
Where I await my fate 
To be savagely devoured 
Or expire my sell-by date. 

It's ironic that I'm bacon flavour, 
('though it gives me no joy), 
For once I was the foreskin 
Of a little Jewish boy. 

Then sold part of a job lot 
With many more like me 
I was freighted to the fateful 
Golden Wonder factory 

Then plunged in boiling oil 
Until I went all brittle 
And swollen like a painful sprain; 
No longer soft and little. 

Then sealed up in a plastic bag 
And sent to Sainsburys 
Where mothers queue at checkouts 
And their children I'm to tease. 

"Oo, mummy, look! Wheat Crunchies!" 
I hear a little boy, 
And judging by his accent 
You can bet he's not a goy. 

"You wicked boy!" his mother cried, 
"You know this snack's no good. 
It's from a beast with cloven hoof 
That does not chew the cud." 

But as the mother turned to pay, 
The boy's hand grabbed my packet. 
And deftly as a gull in flight 
He slipped it in his pocket*. (*Assonance!) 

Then, home alone, safe in his room 
He opened up my prison 
And what familiar, homely sights 
Befell upon my vision. 

For in this place, this very boy 
Had been attached to me, 
And, oh, what games we used to play 
When no one else could see. 

I always knew we'd reunite 
I'd had it on a hunch. 
Now, here we are. I've made it home! 
Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch ... 


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Friday
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2024



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