Care About My Bowels
National Curry Day

National Curry Day

Today it's National Curry Day
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray
Today my taste buds will go mental
And never taste a hint of lentil
I'll eat hot chilies 'til I howl
Without a care about my bowels.
Today I will be thrilled to bits
And tomorrow I will have the shits.


John F. Kennedy
Used to smoke ten a day
And he survived them all
But not the grassy knoll.

Ill Ness

Ill Ness

Eliot Ness
Cleared up the mess
In Chicago when there was much trouble.

His secret success, you see,
Was contracting leprosy.
That's why he was so damned untouchable.


I think it would be pleasant
To invite you round my house
And dine on roasted pheasant
Or a freshly shot up grouse.

A partridge cooked with tarragon,
Or aromatic duck,
Or maybe quails or ptarmigan
If we could have such luck.

If not I thought that maybe
If the birds are now in season
A nicely plumped up capercaillie
Would be within reason

I'd also like to eat a swan
That's cooked in its own juice
With lots of gravy poured upon,
But I don't want a goose.


Today I am bored.
(Big yawn)
I'd pray to the Lord
(My gawd)
That He'd be relieving
My tedium
But I don't believe 'im.
Ho hum.

September 1998 - October 1999

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