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Technically this is preShite since it was written before Kate and Mike met which is when Shite truly began. However, it does fit in with the Shite genre so we've included it here your amusement.
A Tale Of Domestic Unrest

There is a time honoured tradition in shared student houses whereby one member of the household becomes so pissed off with the poor state of cleanliness in the kitchen that they decide to decorate the place with large shabbily written notices informing everyone of the merits of doing the washing up on a regular basis. Whilst these notices are ostensibly aimed at all members of the household they invariably refer to one particularly scummy individual who is regarded as letting the side down.

For me, such a person was Heather Seekin. Heather had a total lack of understanding of the basic principles of washing up. On the rare occasions when she did it she would somehow manage to break glasses and crockery, leave things dirtier than they were to start with and even burn the plastic handles of the spoons of our other flat-mate. I have to say that, much as I love Heather, she was definitely the scummiest person I've ever had to share a house with.* Now, I'm not the sort of person who would stick up snide notices which only end up creating disharmony in the house.

Oh no, I'm much more brutal than that . . .

* This was, of course, before I met Kate.

Mike - February 1994
CRAPParochial Plops
Paper 1: Theory Paper 2: Practical
Heather's Exam

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