The queen, now filled with jealous loathing,
said, "Sire, your obvious lack of clothing
tells me that you've not been good.
Bring forth the nymph from out that wood!"
Before the queen the nymph was thrown.
The queen rose sharply from her throne, (cool rhyme, eh?)
"Oh, rolling minstrels, wise and just,
Prithee sing thy judgement on this act of lust."
The minstrels rose and, as one throng,
Commenced the Wood Nymph Spanking Song:
"With a nonny nonny no
And a nonny nonny nee
Bend that wood nymph
O'er thy knee.
With a titty titty di
And a too-rye-ay
Bare that bottom
To the light of day,
And spank the naughty wood nymph,
Spank the naughty wood nymph,
Tiddle tiddle dum
Spanky on de bum.
Bing bong biggle poo
Woo woo, erm,
Woo woo ... "
"You're making it up as you go along!" said
Mr. Jones as he put down his newspaper
and eyed Miss Delaney
from behind her desk.
"Oh no!" cried the secretary, applying her lip-gloss,
"I'm telling it just like it happened.
In fact, if anything, I'm leaving bits ...
... Out, went the hellish flame,
out of Babylon fell these wanton crew.
The queen dissolving like Alka Seltzer,
for to her jealous nature due.
And the King, the King!
Ne'er did you see
such a timeless specimen of
mythical antiquity, he.
Spinning and whirling,
whirling and spinning,
the wind blew them all to high heaven.
"Goodbye!" cried the nymphs
and they haven't cried since
their exisitence was called into question.
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