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Tales From Beyond The Enchanted Prong Hills

The Battle Of The Fluffy Clouds

Mike

Page 6



  

If there were medals for bravery for rodents then the hamsters of Ig would all merit V.C.'s. Like the soldier who selflessly throws his body upon an enemy grenade to spare the lives of his comrades the leading hamster sprang skyward to intercept the falling toad before it reached the pack. The blade sharp incisors clamped firmly around the amphibian's body, puncturing its inflated rubbery skin. As the gas jetted out of the puncture the toad was thrust off its course and darted around in random directions before being projected back up into the air . . . into the clouds . . . into the drab, boring, unfluffy clouds of Frippit.
Finally the fuse ran out and the toad exploded with a puff causing slight perturbations in the otherwise uniform greyness of the cloud. Wispy white tendrils stirred in the aftermath of the explosion leaving the cloud with a cotton wool blemish marking its wound.
Further toads hailed upon the advancing pack of hamsters. Each one was countered by the precident set by the heroic hamster leader. A volley of jet-propelled hamster-toad missiles thrust into the clouds pocking them with further turbulence whipping them into a light fluffy meringue texture.
With the invading force eradicated the Frippiters gazed at the wondrous sight above. Eyes welled with tears; hearts pounded with awe; bosoms heaved with emotion. For a Frippiter it was impossible not to be moved by the sheer majesty of the clouds, their clouds, the clouds of Frippit. And they were magnificent. They would become the envy of the land beyond the Enchanted Prong Hills for they were the fluffiest clouds ever to be seen by mortal man.
Not all, however, were impressed.
"Come on," cried Rostrum, "What are you gazing at? The hamsters are gone. We've got a town to invade!"
"No, look," said Colin, "We've got fluffy clouds again."
"I don't give a shit about your bloody clouds," said Rostrum, "We have to destroy Ig."
"I'm sorry, Rostrum. The war's off. We have no further grievance with Ig."
"But that's ridiculous! You can't stop a war just because your clouds have gone fluffy!"
"What better reason?" said Colin, "From now on the people of Ig and Frippit shall live in peace and friendship. Never again shall we rip organs from each other's bodies. No more shall we coat our neighbouring religious leaders' steeds with tropical fruit extracts. It's time to turn the other spleen, forgive our trespassers, wave the olive branch . . ."
"No, no!" said Rostrum, "You have to kill them! You have to follow me! You have to convert to a totally Toad Tossing oriented life style!"
"Listen, Rostrum," said Colin, "Your Toad Tossing offered a feasible solution to our problems when there seemed to be no other choice. But you have to understand that there are more important things in life, like peace, harmony, love and nice fluffy clouds. To be perfectly honest Toad Tossing sucks. If people were to pay more attention to the fluffiness of their clouds instead of waging war, polluting the environment or Tossing Toads then the world would be a much better place."
"Hmmm, you've got a point there," said Rostrum, "It is a bit silly, isn't it? Tell you what, let's make everybody's clouds as fluffy as Frippit's then everybody will be happy and will love each other."
"Yes, let's," said Colin.

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Mike - February 1995

The Battle Of The Fluffy Clouds
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