Pointless Things
Bachelor Gay

Bachelor Gay

When I say
I'm a bachelor gay
That doesn't mean
I'm a mincing queen.

When you hear
That I'm a bit queer
I'm just feeling rough
I'm not a puff

And if I nag
That my life's a drag
Do not infer
That I've put on a skirt

But if ever I twitter
That I like it up the shitter
Then you can be certain
That I've gone off beef curtains.

Since writing this poem, Mike has got married. Sorry, girls.

This big dozy Herbert
Called me a turbot.
He'd made a mistake,
I am a hake.

Star Trek

Star Trek

What the heck,
I admit
I watch Star Trek,
The Next Generation,
Deep Space Nine,
And Voyager too,
It isn't a crime.

Is the place
I want to show my face.
Wouldn't it be good out there
In just your underwear?

With something half human,
Not necessarily alien,
It could be a crewman.

I like Romulans
And Cardasians and Klingons
But it's the Bajorans
That give me a hard on.
I could preach homilies
About sub-space anomalies,
Why shouldn't I fantasise
About living on the Enterprise?

Wham Reunion

Wham Reunion

Sometimes I wonder whether Wham'll
Reform and go touring on a camel.

August 1997

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