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Mask Of Doom
 
Evil Chappy
Nathon

I know you think that I am nasty,
A brutish, snappy,
Evil chappy;
An all-round bad egg,
Full of harm,
Slapping women,
Lacking charm;
But you of all should by now know,
That what you see is not quite so,
And that beyond this gruff outside,
There is a love I cannot hide,
For all God's creatures, great and small:
My heart is like an open hall,
So full of peace and joy and bliss,
That it is really hard to miss,
(Unless, that is, one chooses to)
The high regard I have for you.

Each day I wake for my employment,
Just to secure your enjoyment,
And sometimes, yes, I do get cross,
Sometimes, it's true, I'm at a loss;
But never once does cross my mind,
A thought impure or, worse, unkind.
For loving you is loving life,
I'm glad one day you'll be my wife,
And that our child, so soon to be,
Will equally bring you and me,
A happiness we'll always share,
(Even if it costs my hair).

So I implore you deeply Kate,
To overlook the things you hate.
My many faults I can't deny:
It would be too foolish to try.
I know that I'm both cruel and curt,
That I use words I know will hurt.
But in the end it's you I need,
It's you I love; and so I'll plead,
That even though I'm often wrong,
Don't be mad at me for long.

 
A Kate For All Time / An Empty Kate
Nathon & Kate

> I know you think that I am nasty,
> A brutish, snappy,
> Evil chappy;
> An all-round bad egg,
> Full of harm,
> Slapping women,
> Lacking charm;

(At least you've got this first part right
Your deeds are bad, they smell like shite)

> But you of all should by now know,
> That what you see is not quite so,

(A jeckyll in a baa-lamb's guise
You wear so well your sleek disguise)

> And that beyond this gruff outside,
> There is a love I cannot hide,
> For all God's creatures, great and small:
> My heart is like an open hall,

(except you think that pets are dumb,
and on Kazoo* you wipe your bum)

(*the cat)

> So full of peace and joy and bliss,
> That it is really hard to miss,
> (Unless, that is, one chooses to)
> The high regard I have for you.

(The choice is made on my behalf
Really. Don't make me larf. Or barf).

> Each day I wake for my employment,
> Just to secure your enjoyment,

(My joy indeed does seem to perk
When at last you leave for work)

> And sometimes, yes, I do get cross,
> Sometimes, it's true, I'm at a loss;

(Really I don't give a toss
You've killed me dead like Sterling Moss)

> But never once does cross my mind,
> A thought impure or, worse, unkind.
> For loving you is loving life,
> I'm glad one day you'll be my wife,

(Don't be so sure, I might not stay,
If you carry on treating me this way)

> And that our child, so soon to be,
> Will equally bring you and me,
> A happiness we'll always share,
> (Even if it costs my hair).

(Or my sanity, or my looks so fair)

> So I implore you deeply Kate,
> To overlook the things you hate.
> My many faults I can't deny:
> It would be too foolish to try.
> I know that I'm both cruel and curt,
> That I use words I know will hurt.
> But in the end it's you I need,
> It's you I love; and so I'll plead,
> That even though I'm often wrong,
> Don't be mad at me for long.

(Implore me all you like, my dear,
It won't restore my natural cheer.
For all your faults I can withstand,
And suffer at your cruellest hand,
And all your words I too can take,
I'll bear them bravely for your sake,
I know my own will go unheeded,
It doesn't matter, as long as I'm needed.
And I CAN'T stay mad at you for long,
Because too soon you'll again be wrong,
And all the things I'm angry for
Become a tangled web once more,
With me not knowing which is worse
Your nasty words, your cruellest verse.
And so once more I will forgive,
An easy life I long to live.
But bear in mind no stone am I
Another flame of love will die
One by one you blow them out
With winds of doom and breaths of doubt
I cannot keep them safe from harm
Your cruelty works its magic charm
Until, one day, they all will fizzle,
beneath your constant nasty drizzel,
No more love for you to trample
An empty Kate, once full and ample).

My darling baa lamb, dressed as jeckyll,
Heed not the venom in my cackle,
I mean no harm, my love is strong,
You know I'd never do you wrong.
An evil witch with pointy teeth
Am I, but not so far beneath,
This fearsome guise a maiden shakes,
A mask of doom she weaves and makes,
To protect her from the world of harm
She did not mean to cause alarm,
The wicked witch might shout and curse,
Weave evil words into her verse,
But beneath the cherub maid does hurt,
And craves the comfort beneath your shirt.
She wishes you could always be,
Beside her for eternity,
And when you leave each torturous day,
You take a piece of her soul away,
And quite unable to withstand,
Such torment she must raise her hand,
And in her hand the mask of doom,
A witch-like face so filled with gloom,
Protecting her from words of spite,
Your jeckyll speaks with all its might.
My maiden cherub cannot face,
Your jeckyll side, devoid of grace,
She seeks your lambness, white with fluff,
She cannot bear your mask, so tough.
And when her witch mask she does drop,
Your words are pains that will not stop,
It is then for this very reason,
She needs a Nathon for every season:

One to wipe her tears away,
When hormones in her mind do play
their cruellest tricks, inside her brain,
She thinks that she might go insane.

Another Nathon must exist,
For her sweet lips which must be kissed,
Whenever she does want them to,
She needs a sweet romantic you.

And when she's feeling bruised and broke,
She needs you not to jape and joke -
And pander to her paranoia,
Or else she may consult a lawyer.

One last Nathon she does need,
Not robo-boyfriend, he's a weed,
But Nathon who will give her love,
As sweetly as a turtle dove,
(Not like this one she has instead
who gives love like a turtle's head).

So please forgive me, I am yours,
I promise I will do my chores,
I'll be your rock, but also funny,
I'll try not to spend all your hard-earned money.
I hope that you will never hate
Me, your eternal, forever Kate,
For any need or any reason,
I love you. You are indeed -
A Nathon for every season.

 
Parochial Plops HomeParochial Plops  
January 2001
 



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