Three Short Plays
 
Play
Kate

GOLF CLUB. EXTERIOR. DAYTIME.

Two oranges are sitting on a white plastic table.

ORANGE #1: Rather pestulant and so did the horse rash.

ORANGE #2: No.

CURTAIN



 
Horseplay
Mike

SCENE 1 - THE PADDOCK

DOBBIN: Neigh.
NEDDY: Whinney.
SILVER: Snort.
BLACKIE: Clipperty Clopperty.


SCENE 2 - THE KNACKERS YARD

DOBBIN: Gnnn.
NEDDY: Aaaargh.
SILVER: Squeal.
BLACKIE: Thud.


SCENE 3 - THE GLUE FACTORY

DOBBIN: Slop.
NEDDY: Gurgle.
SILVER: Gloop.
BLACKIE: Hiss.


SCENE 4 - THE HARDWARE SHOP

CUSTOMER: A large tub of Evo-Stik wood adhesive, please.
ASSISTANT: Certainly sir. That'll be three pound sixty.


SCENE 5 - THE WORKSHOP

DOBBIN: Ooze.
NEDDY: Smear.
SILVER: Spread.
BLACKIE: Bind.


SCENE 6 - THE NURSERY

FATHER: Happy birthday, son! Look what I've made for you.
SON: A rocking horse! Why, thank you daddy. I love horses.


CURTAIN



 
Fridge Freakout

Fridge Freakout
Kate


SCENE: It is the inside of a dark fridge.
It is empty apart from a half-eaten tin of tuna and a "Granny Smith's" apple.

TUNA: Jonathan hasn't been around, has he?
APPLE: He is dead.
TUNA: Jonathan?
APPLE: Yes.

Suddenly the fridge door opens. A giant hairy hand places a tub of lard in the fridge and closes the door.

TUNA: Hello, Jonathan. Apple said you were dead.
LARD: Well, I'm not.
APPLE: Aren't you?
LARD: No.
TUNA: I think you should apologise.
APPLE: Sorry.
LARD: It's alright. Guess what?
APPLE and TUNA: (together) What?
LARD: Marsupials.

CURTAIN



 
 
March 1995
 



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