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Today's Events
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Sunday 16 July
Nivea Creme rationing enforced from today
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Forthcoming Events
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Monday 17 July
National "Feeling A Bit Sorry For Yourself" Day
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Tuesday 18 July
Festival Of Goosing
Happy Birthday, Joel!
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Wednesday 19 July
St. Wanker's Day patron saint of students
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Thursday 20 July
Tynwald Day (Isle Of Man). Long before dawn, crowds of mackintoshed Manx spinsters begin assembling at Ocra's Kiosk, site of the mythical Masturbation of Bogroll Broadthighs in AD 785, and eat raw herrings until it stops raining.
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Friday 21 July
Limbless Japanese skateboarder due to reach summit of Everest today. 2nd to do so.
National Gimmick Day
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Saturday 22 July
Ulster: Orange marchers protest the election of a Roman Catholic Pope.
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Sunday 23 July
Oxford Street Christmas decorations switched on today.
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