login | sign up

  Today's Topic  
  Daily Drivel  
  Caption Competition  
  The Cull  
  Who's Who  

the shed
  Lucky Days  
  Phrases & Their Origins  
  Problems Pages  
  Mike's Spot  
  Business Pages  
  Celebrity Stiffs  

about us

Join pooclub "You've never truly arsed about until you've been to pooclub."
Subscribe to our mailing list. Guaranteed no spam!

Knick knack
pooclub Your accounts: Forum | Poopages | Wiki


When four letters simply aren't enough...


Arsehole, bum, bumhole, chuff, butt, bottom, anus, derriere, aris, bomb bay, corybungo, council gritter, Gary Glitter, shitter, dirt box, rectum, gazoo, Hershey Highway, Cadbury Alley, Khyber, loon pipe, poop chute, ringpiece, ring of fire (after a curry).


Penis, William, Willie, John Thomas, Bernard, Prince Charles, big chap, hairy banana, dangler, dong, Donald, dingle-dangle, dingle-dongle, urinator, Percy, piddle-me-ree, it, thingy, rooster, shaft-throbber, chipolata, prime porker, beef bayonet, King Prawn, horn, pinky, widdler, twig, wang, wanger, tinkler, knob, blushing marrow, one-eyed trouser snake, courgette, Proby, drink-on-a-stick, steaming poker, kebab, the little gentleman in the pink polo-neck, caber, Mother's Ruin, highball, bonio, wolfie, spitfire, Flying Scotsman, weenie, cocktail sausage, offal (Lesbian term), shank, chitterling, parsnip, porterhouse snake, stigwood, fellow, small brown hovis, prodder, oddment, item, organ, tool, dick, member, pork-sword, princely pestle, stalk, phallus, part of shame, chopper, woggle, tail, carrot, Tom Thumb, jiminy, flue, pisser, dingaling, pecker, spout, crab ladder, after dinner mount, stiffie, length, Horizontal Henry, wedgie, noble pile, Tower of Babel, Cleopatra's nodule, pant-slimer, pikestaff, prick, Third Leg, Long John Silver, stem, flying buttress, jackstaff, jacko, frigger, outrigger, pedicle, springbok, peer, sprag, stang, batten, alpenstock, world-bearer, haft, pommel, lugworm, fleshy fulcrum, Our Man In Havana, naughty Nureyev, horn o' plenty, swelling billy, tongue of flame, his hard sex (romantic usage), antler, urinary utensil, bare bodkin, Brawny Brian, velvet viper, purple plunger, wick, pistol, mighty zeppelin, trouser torpedo, spunk splasher, yang, pod, spode, wife's best friend, bush bunny, Indian rope trick, boss, Questing Quentin, happy handful, fleshy fugelhorn, What? That pathetic little thing!, ripe robot, pungle, bud, swizzle-stick, Old Bob Mellish, person, wedding tackle, meat and two veg, hedge-sidney, pink mamba, Sir Geko, bed flute, Ishmael the Nail.


Gay, chutney ferret, poo pusher, uphill gardener, shit stabber, turd burglar, shirt lifter, fudge packer, chod nobber, arse bandit, sodite, sod, bugger, "nature has played a cruel trick on him", not as other men, pederast, fag, faggot, sausage jockey, driver of the chocolate motorway, queer, homosexual, backpassage stalker, gentleman's gentleman, toilet trader, Quentin, Marmite driller, brown pipe engineer, plumber who comes in the tradesman's entrance, one who bowls from the Pavilion end, brown hatter, one who tarnishes his bobbies helmet, rear gunner, rear admiral, pork swordsman, tail gunner, pusher of the cheesy wheelbarrow, wind jammer, navigator of the windward pass, gender bender, one who strolls down the Bourneville Boulevard, botter, pillow biter, sponge, stone, chocolate speedway rider, man who rears the chocolate starfish, ginger beer, hoop stretcher, jobby jouster, kakpipe cosmonaut, muddy funster, one who is good with colours, one who prefers to dock with the rear unloading bay.


Vomit, throw up, be sick, hurl, yodelling down the great white telephone, making a pavement pizza, spue, retch, park one's cookie, barf, heave, chunder, open the sluices, eructate, calling Hughie and Ruth, regurgitate, technicolor yawn.


Have it away, give 'em one, make love, go at it hammer and tongs, spear the bearded clam, slip 'em one, give the ferret a run for its money, roger, boff, bonk, bang, root, plant Percy in the playpen, hump, parking the Palethorpe, hiding the sausage, making the two-backed beast, have it off, tickling the toolkit, putting the nigger in the woodpile, introducing Pinky and Perky, be engaged, nookie, punt, poke, stuff, lay, bash, crunge, slip a length, the four legged race, stoking the cosiglow, grapple, thrub, tunk, dipple, dip the wick, muff-puff, dunkin' doughnuts, heave to with a stiff breeze in the offing, make a deposit in the Night-Safe, open an account at the sperm bank, badger, bodge, exercise the beef bayonet, slime time, wet the whistle, have a rebore, screw, pink piston practice, jiggery-pokery, baiting the mousehole, groan, pant, wheeze, croak, ufwufwufwuf, lean on the third elbow, make a hole in the welcome mat, sausage roll, roll, be in clover, ball, fuck (not nice), pillow, jogging The Oliver Reed Way, a stiff Joan Collins with a cherry on top, the Last Post, draw a stump, get one's oats, swive, grease the pole, oofoofoofoofeeeeeg, proffer the nosebag to the cobra, dip the quill, prong, rawl-plug, whip up a banana-split, do it, plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the land, stick Jeremy Beadle's head in a bucket, let the llama look down the lift shaft, bouncy-bouncy, fly the chopper into the oil-rig, do what Norman Lamont did to the economy, make your own yoghurt, plump up the downstairs dimple, tumble, another helping of pork and sago vicar, stowing the anaconda in the ante-natal clinic, pledging the pliant plesiosaur.


Tart, slut, slapper, bint, train, bike, nymphomaniac, Martini, Slack Alice, goer, roaster, box of assorted creams.

Prostitute: whore, ho, hooker, call girl, lady of the night, harlot


Turd, motion, dangleberries, dog's egg, stool, log, crap, clagnuts, diarrhoea, winnits, shite, manure, Richard III, U-blocker, bum cigar, excrement, faeces, faecal matter, kak, dung, depth charge, brownie, dead otter, turtle's head, Thora Hird, Admiral Browning, Bovril bullets, brown trout.


Breasts, knockers, boobs, gazungas, lotties, mamms, baps, assets (tabloid use), Bristols, Charlies, charms, chebs, choozies, chubblies, fried eggs (when small), flea bites (when tiny) fun bags, thrupennies, headlamps, jelly water mangoes, waps, zeps, norgs, Hindenburgs, Jenny, jubblies, pink pouffes, jugs, bosoms, kahoonas, golden bodangers, kermungers, lils, norks, paps, bazookas, hooters, puppies, rib cushions, top bollocks, two puppies fighting in a bag.


Vagina, bush, pussy, beef curtains, kipper, minge, fanny, hole, bomb doors, fish flaps, fur burger, snatch, love tunnel, vertical smile, fadge, beaver, Sigourney Weaver, Davey Crockett's hat, fish mitten, haddock pastie, lab kebab, vertical bacon sandwich, cunt (Vulg.), bearded clam, crack, slit, slot, box, cavity, gash, gammon flaps, blit, spadger, spam alley, stench tench, steak drapes, bliff, front bottom, stilton muffle, stoat, quim, hairy cheque book, hairy cup, hairy doughnut, hairy goblet, hairy lassoo, hairy pie, velcro triangle, hee (Thai), salmon canyon, tuna town, serpent socket, honey pot, captain's pie, lettuce, minnie moo, Twix lips, monkey (as in "Does that monkey want a banana?"), mott, mapatasi, norton, poe, beetle bonnet, passion flaps, piss flaps, plumber's toolbag, furry bicycle stand, axe wound, pink velvet sausage wallet.


Masturbate, bash the bishop, beat off, beat the bishop, beat the meat, choke the chicken, five knuckle shuffle, flog your mule, get to know yourself, have sex with someone you love, jack off, jerk off, jerkin' the Gherkin, play a little five-on-one, polish the family jewels, shine the helmet, slap the salami, spank the monkey, spank the salami, take matters into your own hands, take the monster for a one-armed ride, toss off, varnish the flagpole, whack the one-eyed worm, wax your surfboard, whack off, wrist aerobics, yank the crank, yank your plank, one off the wrist, visit Madam Palm and her five daughters, turn Japanese, tickle the trout, crack one off, shake hands with your wife's best friend, feed the ducks.

This thesaurus is by no means complete and will be expanded as more expressions are collated by our members. If you have any contributions you would like to make to the pooclub thesaurus, please send them to:


and we will be happy to include them.

Go on, give us a write up
Stumbleupon Delicious Reddit Digg
Facebook Twatter Bollocks Church of Scientology

Knick knack

Copyright © 2000-2021 Pooclub Ltd. All Rights Reserved.
Luxury Private Holiday Villas in Bodrum, Turkey   Cheap Holiday Villas To Rent