Ten Things About Kate

Here are some interesting facts about me.

1. I'm so normal it's boring

2. My favourite cheese is Camembert, but I'm also partial to a nice French goat's cheese or a tasty bit of Stilton

3. I play guitar better than Hendrix and sing more sweetly than Judy Garland in "The Wizard of Oz"

4. I have one sister by the name of Lucy who lives with her boyfriend Chris in Elephant and Castle, and we're more different than arses are from flour.

5. I like curry. I particularly enjoy chicken massalas, but I don't eat meat except chicken at the moment as I'm currently recovering from a nasty bout of vegetarianism that lasted about 4 years.

6. I have the best tits in the Western world. There is one woman in the Far East with slightly better tits than me but her arse is, frankly, a disgrace.

7. I have 2 cats called Sqwubbsy and Kazoo. The former spouts kittens like dolphins spout water and poos outside my aged landlady's kitchen door on a daily basis, which makes me unpopular. The latter is the daughter of the former and never does anything wrong, but is accident prone to a near ridiculous degree.

8. I don't like dogs because they smell and I hate the way they dribble when they're hot

9. I think Bob Mills is a cunt.

10. I think swearing is important. I also fart, pick my nose and talk about my bowel movements in polite company. All in all I'm a pretty good catch, baby.

Kate's Bits

• Ten Things About Kate
• Meat Is Good For You

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